Whether you are considering divorce, are in the middle of a divorce, or are happily married and not even considering the possibility, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the possibility that your marriage may dissolve. Those who are unprepared may find themselves making serious mistakes that can potentially jeopardize their case or their happiness once their divorce is finalized. On this blog, our St. Louis divorce lawyers take a look at three of these mistakes and discuss how you can avoid them.
Fighting Too Hard
Divorces often carry a lot of negative emotion, and far too often we hear of couples who just refuse to let something go out of spite to their ex. This doesn’t solve anything, rarely leads to any sort of satisfaction with your final case, has devastating long-term effects on relationships, and can lead to thousands of extra dollars in attorney fees, just to win over the rights to something that may not even be worth a tenth of that. The biggest key to a successful and satisfactory outcome to a divorce case is to be willing to work and mediate with your ex, and genuinely try to put forth an effort to respect their wishes while protecting your own. This creates the fairest possible outcome.
Wrongly Involving Your Children
When you’re so emotionally involved with your divorce case, it can sometimes be easy to forget that your children often are some of the hardest-hit victims in a divorce. It’s easy for them to become overwhelmed and feel helpless and confused as their mother and father split up, and in many cases they feel as though their voice just sort-of disappears.
There are two things you should absolutely never do to your children: force them to take sides, and demonize your ex to them. You may have chosen to marry your ex, but your children did not choose to be born to them. The person you may be bad-mouthing or forcing them away from is someone they deeply care about, and will be their mother or father for their entire life, and your attempts to move your children away from them will only lead to further stress and possibly even resentment towards you. No matter how angry or resentful you may feel towards your ex, do not attempt to pass any of that on to your children.
Jumping Into a Rebound Relationship
Sadly, infidelity or the thrill of an exciting new relationship can sometimes be the cause of a divorce, but in other cases they quickly emerge during a divorce case. This emotional distraction and fun can lead to temporary relief from the grind of a divorce case, but you should do everything in your power to refrain from starting a new romantic relationship during your divorce. On one hand, your divorce will occupy so much of your time and thought that you will not be able to provide your new partner with the energy and attention they need to make the relationship successful. On the other hand, suddenly brining a “new parent” into your kids’ lives can be traumatizing, particularly for young children who may still not be able to comprehend what exactly is happening during your divorce case. Take time for yourself, consider what happened that made your previous marriage fail, and work on fixing it with yourself before trying a relationship again.
At Kallen Law Firm, we are proud of our 25-year-history of client service and high-quality legal counsel. We strive to protect your rights throughout the divorce process and help you and your family seek the resolution you need to your family law issue, no matter how complex. Each family situation is unique, and we individually-tailor our approach to each case to help you reach a conclusion that fits your family to the best possible degree.Get started today with a free initial consultation; call Kallen Law Firm at (314) 441-7793 and start reviewing your case with a skilled attorney.